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  1. Benjie
    Tennessee
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: male
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    This is a fantastic read. A MUST READ!!
    May 19, 2012
    Benjie
    Tennessee
    Age: 35-44
    Gender: male
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Healing Your Church Hurt

    By: Stephen Mansfield

    BarnaBooks, an imprint of Tyndale House Publishing

    "After everything that happened, I could never go back"

    Is that how you feel? Or have you heard it from others? The stories are all too familiar: The church we once loved broke up or our favorite pastor was fired, or people left when the worship style changed. The former pastor had an affair or our kids didn't fit in at youth group or we had a major life crisis and no one from the church showed up to help. And so it goes.

    Stephen Mansfield has been there. Though he is now a New York Times bestselling author, a popular speaker, and a consultant who advises leaders around the world, Stephen was also a pastor for twenty years. And he loved it for most of those two decades . . . until he learned how much a church can hurt. But then he also learned how to dig out of that hurt, break through the bitterness and anger, stop making excuses, and get back to where he needed to be with God and His people.

    If you're ready to take the tough path to healing, Mansfield will walk you through it with love and understanding, showing you that something good is waiting on the other side of even the deepest church hurts.

    I needed this book! This is an issue that I have had to deal with on more than one occasion and, in reading through this book, I realized that I still had hurt from two churches ago that I needed to deal with. Mansfield says at the very beginning that he isn't here to be a counselor. He plainly states that he isn't going to nurture, he is going to guide and teach skills to help overcome the hurt inside - and he does this job very effectively.

    First off, I will warn you that this isn't a book that will hold your hand and empathize with you and tell you that everyone is out to get you, and that you are justified in being hurt and angry. Neither does he tell you to simply "get over it". Instead, he walks you through the process of healing, step-by-step. There are things that we who are hurt need to realize and accept, and one of those things is our part in our own hurt. Mansfield starts the book off by sharing about a boy whom he named Timmy (ostensibly to protect him) and Timmy's fondness for candy bars. He uses this anecdote as a springboard to launch into one very crucial aspect of our church hurt that we MUST come to grips with and eradicate: holding on to the hurt itself.

    We often feel justified in our pain by reliving the hurtful incident over and over again, deepening the wound and never allowing it to truly heal. We must first let go of the pain that we hold on to. That is step one.

    Mansfield writes Healing Your Church Hurt from the perspective of experience. His "been there, done that" style reinforces the truth that we are not alone in our pain and, reveals the reality that, if he can overcome it, so can we. His refreshing and engaging style mesh perfectly with the content of this book and it adds up to a book that I highly recommend to any and everyone that is dealing with scarring from fellow believers. There were many times that I saw myself in what he was describing and it caused me to rethink my 'right' to be hurt.

    If you are dealing with pain that was caused by fellow believers, if you refuse to step foot in the door of a church because you have been burned by 'those hypocrites', or if you have shut yourself out of typical church settings for fear of enduring more pain at the hands of those who should be helping to heal, you need to read this book.

    I firmly believe that every Christian should read this book.

    I received this book for free as a part of the Tyndale blogging for books program. I was not required to write a positive review as a condition of receiving the book. I honestly loved it.
  2. Paul Emery
    Magnolia, TX
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: male
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    The Issue May Be with the Church, But...
    April 18, 2012
    Paul Emery
    Magnolia, TX
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: male
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    The Issue May Be with the Church, but it is also an Issue with You:

    A Book Review of Healing Your Church Hurt

    Back in December Tyndale Publishers announced another blog tour. This time there were two books available The Resignation of Eve and Healing Your Church Hurt. I would be lying to say both of these titles caught me a little off guard, and I again chose to participate in the blog tour because I again thought I was going to see yet another attack against the Church. I have not received The Resignation of Eve but I did receive Healing Your Church Hurt.

    Healing Your Church Hurt is written by Stephen Mansfield with a forward from George Barna. The forward by George Barna starts off with Barna bringing up a few occasions when he experienced church hurt from various congregations and leaders of churches he attended. Getting through the forward was kind of challenging because it seemed to be a slight against the body of Christ. However, it was this premise which Mr. Mansfield was addressing in this book, how we are to heal from church hurt.

    As I began to read this book I went in with the assumption of this being an attack on the body of Christ. I was sure that this book would stir up passions of insult and injustice on the fellowship of believers. However, as the old adage goes "never judge a book by its cover." Within the first chapter my assumptions were not just addressed, but quite frankly, blown right out of the water. So now I will share with you all some of what I got out of this book and what I think you can get out of it as well.

    In Chapter One, "The Image of Our Folly", Stephen addresses three important truths to the reader that are necessary if one is to benefit from reading this book. His three truths are; first, he is a coach not a counselor; second, he mentions how one cannot become free of Church hurt unless someone gets tough with them, and then finally he addresses what was my initial concern. I will use Mr. Mansfield's own words to explain this point.

    Finally there is a myth we need to knock in the head...When we've been hurt by the church we often tell ourselves that we are going to keep on loving Jesus but that we no longer want anything to do with his people. We say this to ease our pain but we are fools when we do. (Mansfield 2012)

    This is a major point that often is not addressed as well as it should be. How often do people say that they still love Jesus, and can worship Him privately and will not attend a public gathering of believers in Christ? Hebrews 10:24-25 says, "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." (English Standard Version 2001)

    People who have been hurt by others, have a natural tendency to hold on to this hurt, and to become victims of the circumstances that have befallen them. People will then generally respond to this sense of victimhood in one of two ways. They will both retreat into their shell, and remove themselves from regular interaction with people. The second possible response is for the hurt individual to become confrontational, and tell everyone how poorly they were treated, or what wrongs were committed against them. Mansfield takes the time in this book to show how people do not have to retreat into either of these two spectrums of response, but how to take their hurt, and learn from it.

    Another common situation that Mansfield addresses is the tendency of people to feel as if they are all alone, or no one can understand how they feel. Mansfield dedicates the second chapter of Healing Your Church Hurt to an introduction of several men throughout history who experienced their own hurts at the hands of those who were their friends. These notable people in history are Abraham Lincoln, George Whitefield, Jonathan Edwards, Vincent Van Gogh, and others. The main focus of "The Sea Breeze of the Centuries" is the fact that regardless of how we feel, we are not in our hurt alone.

    Of course there is so much more I could say about this book. What I will say is I went from a skeptic to a believer on the points that Stephen Mansfield makes in this book. What I was originally thinking I would rate as a 1 out of 5 stars I now gladly give 5. If you have been hurt by the Church, and I do know some who have been, I think you may find some of the answers you are looking for in Stephen Mansfield's Healing Your Church Hurt.

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Tyndale House Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commision's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
  3. Terri
    Tennessee
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    September 21, 2012
    Terri
    Tennessee
    Age: 45-54
    Gender: female
    I would give this book 5 stars very relevant and that

    Is important because it's written by someone who has been

    Thru church hurt and spiritual abuse by church leadership

    And has come out of it with a victorious faith in Christ.
  4. pastor2519
    West Point, UT
    Age: Over 65
    Gender: male
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    learning the path from hurt to healing
    March 29, 2012
    pastor2519
    West Point, UT
    Age: Over 65
    Gender: male
    Quality: 5
    Value: 5
    Meets Expectations: 5
    Healing Your Church Hurt: What to do when you still love God but have been wounded by his people (Stephen Mansfield, Barna 2010) is a book that should be required reading for church membership classes. We all know that the church is made up of imperfect people, and it's just unfortunate that more of the congregation isn't like each of us. But since we're not all alike, all on the same page, all intimate family members, there are bound to be disagreements. Mansfield gives us some insight into how to handle those disagreeable times that happen in every church.

    I was impressed with the profound concepts that were explained in simple words. Mansfield has a knack for pointing out the obvious, but doing so in a way that often left me feeling that I should have seen that before, and wondering why I hadn't made the connection.

    Early in the book, (p 1-3) we are treated to the story of Timmy, a screaming little boy with his hand stuck in a candy machine. Lots of noise, lots of tears, lots of suggestions on how to get the arm out, and finally someone gives a clear and concise directive: "let go of the candy bar." And often the secret is right there: let go!

    Mansfield walks us through several steps, including looking at our part, and helps us see that we're not quite as perfect as we may like to think. But the good news is that we're not alone. Several of the stalwarts of Christianity (George Whitfield for example) suffered some of the same things that churches, their leaders and their members still go through today.

    Examples, suggestions, and a reminder from scripture (Paul writing to the church at Corinth, reminding them that his Apostolic authority was never intended to tear them down, but rather to build them up.

    Hopefully you're in a perfect church, where everybody gets along and agrees on everything, but if you're not, reading this book may be the first step in reconciliation and healing.

    For a free download of first chapter of this book, follow this link: http://files.tyndale.com/thpdata/FirstChapters/978-1-4143-6560-2.pdf

    Thanks to Tyndale publishers for providing me a review copy of this book.
  5. Daniel Darling
    Chicago, IL
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: male
    5 Stars Out Of 5
    Candor, wisdom and grace for those hurt by church.
    March 28, 2012
    Daniel Darling
    Chicago, IL
    Age: 25-34
    Gender: male
    It's hard to find anyone who has attended church long enough not to be hurt at some point in their journey. Churches are filled with sinners. Redeemed? Yes, but sinners nonetheless. Sometimes it's our own spiritual families who inflict the most pain. So, how does a Christian overcome their church hurt? How do they find the grace to continue to serve Jesus and His Body after being abused by people who are supposed to love?

    Stephen Mansfield, a pastor, author, and speaker shares a very candid, heartfelt book that addresses this important topic. What separates this book from many others is that it's not an angry screed against the church. It's not the words of a person who has given up on the church. It's not yet another anger-fueled prescription for church change. Actually this book is written as both a comfort and a challenge to those who find themselves outside the Church they love.

    What I particularly like about this book is that it offers both comfort and constructive rebuke. Stephen encourages victims of church abuse to forgive, to move forward, to examine their own heart and lives for the sin they so readily identify in others.

    I appreciate Stephen's candor and wisdom in this book. It will be a help to many who struggle after a bad church experience.
Displaying items 1-5 of 16
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