The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths About Marriage and Divorce
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Many of us have heard about the depressing 50% divorce rate for marriages outside and inside the church. But Shaunti Feldhahn believes the rates are actually much lower! After years of investigative reporting and research, she offers paradigm-shifting, rigorously supported information that reveals marriages as stronger, happier, and more committed than most people think.
Number of Pages: 208
Vendor: Multnomah Books
Publication Date: 2013
|Dimensions: 7 X 5 (inches)|
Availability: In Stock
For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of MenShaunti FeldhahnMultnomah Books / 2013 / Hardcover$11.99 Retail:4.5 Stars Out Of 5 8 Reviews
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For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of WomenShaunti Feldhahn, Jeff FeldhahnMultnomah Books / 2013 / Hardcover$9.99 Retail:4 Stars Out Of 5 2 Reviews
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Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big DifferenceShaunti FeldhahnMultnomah Books / 2013 / Hardcover$13.99 Retail:4.5 Stars Out Of 5 7 Reviews
$17.99Save 22% ($4.00)Availability: In StockCBD Stock No: WW241210Video
Divorce is not the biggest threat to marriage. Discouragement is.
Youve probably heard the grim facts: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. Most marriages are just holding on. But what if these "facts" are actually myths?
In The Good News About Marriage, best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn presents groundbreaking research that reveals the shocking, incredibly inspiring truth:
· The actual divorce rate has never gotten close to 50 percent.
· Those who attend church regularly have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who dont.
· Most marriages are happy.
· Simple changes make a big difference in most marriage problems.
· Most remarriages succeed.
For too long, our confidence in marriage has been undermined by persistent misunderstandings and imperfect data. This landmark book will radically change how we think and talk about marriageand what we can dare to hope from it.
"Shaunti takes aim at marriage myths that have spread like a cancer through our culturemyths that have become self-fulfilling prophecies. This book is packed with game-changing revelations. Like this one: Not only are most people staying married, they are happy in their marriages!" Emerson Eggerichs, best-selling author of Love and Respect
Shaunti Feldhahn is a Harvard-trained social researcher, popular speaker, and best-selling author of For Women Only and other books with sales of more than two million copies in 22 languages. Her relationship findings have been featured in media as diverse as the New York Times, Focus on the Family, Cosmo, and The Today Show. She and her husband, Jeff, have two children and live in Atlanta.
"In the thirty-two years I have been deeply immersed in the world of marriage ministry, I have been demoralized at times by the negative statistics quoted. And now I am ecstatic as I read the truth in this incredible book. Thank you, Shaunti, for doing the hard work necessary to expose the myths and lies and for finally revealing the facts about marriage. This book and the undeniable research in it is a game changer!"
Jimmy Evans, founder and CEO of MarriageToday, senior pastor of Trinity Fellowship
"This is an important book. Shaunti and Tally do an impressive job of showing that there is room for different viewpoints on divorce statistics and room for optimism about marriage. I believe that people make higher-risk choices partly because they have lost hope in marriage, and this book presents a basis for real hope."
Dr. Scott Stanley, coauthor of A Lasting Promise, research professor at the University of Denver
"Lamenting the demise of the family has almost become a cottage industry. Theres a lot of legitimate bad news out there, but Shaunti reminds readers that the situation might not be nearly as dire as we thinkin fact, there are encouraging signs of hope. Thats a welcome message!"
Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family
"There are many bad stats out there about marriage, but Shaunti debunks those myths and provides clarity about marriage in general and how to strengthen your own marriage. The Good News About Marriage is well worth your time."
Ed Stetzer, PhD, president of LifeWay Research
"Every Christian leader in America needs to read the groundbreaking, hope-filled research in this book. Then they need to recommend that everyone in their sphere of influence read it as well! This is one of the most important marriage books Ive ever read, and it will change how all of us think and talk about marriage
Lysa TerKeurst, New York Times best-selling author, president of Proverbs 31 Ministries
"This book is great news about marriage! Every pastor, coach, or counselor will find a new zeal for working with marriages after learning the truth about the state of marriage today. I cannot wait to have Shaunti share these truths with the Catalyst audience."
Tyler Reagin, executive director of Catalyst
"The Good News About Marriage offers an important word of encouragement to believers who wonder if faith makes a difference in modern married life. Believers who put their faith into practicewho worship together and pray togetherare much more likely to enjoy stable and happy marriages. This is good news indeed."
W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project, associate professor of sociology at the University of Virginia
"Academically rigorous, honest, and refreshingly bold, this book will make you question what youve always heard about the bad news of marriage. A seminal work, this book could change the social narrative about marriage for generations. This is a mustread for academics, marriage educators, and couples alike."
Ron L. Deal, director of FamilyLife Blended, best-selling author of The Smart Stepfamily
"This groundbreaking research gives us a whole different framework to think about marriage, divorce, and relationships. This is fantastic material that provides powerful tools to help us improve our personal relationships and those in our communities."
Jud Wilhite, author of The God of Yes, pastor of Central Christian Church
"Shauntis thoroughly researched book will inject life and hope, not only into our national consciousness about marriage, but also into every individual marriage in the country."
Dr. Tim Clinton, president of American Association of Christian Counselors, executive director of Center for Counseling and Family Studies at Liberty University
"Shaunti takes aim at marriage myths that have spread like cancer through our culturemyths that have become self-fulfilling prophecies. This book is packed with game-changing revelations! Bravo to Shaunti for her outstanding research."
Emerson Eggerichs, best-selling author of Love and Respect
"This is some of the most important information on marriage for this generation, and Shaunti brings practical inspiration on every page. This is the new go-to book for facts on marriages in Americaand its much better news than we often hear."
Dr. Jim Burns, president of HomeWord, author of Creating an Intimate Marriage and Closer
"Youve read the bad news about marriagethe cohabiting couples, extramarital affairs, and soaring divorce rates. But this book shows theres a lot of good news about marriage today, and its about time someone said so!"
Bob Lepine, co-host of FamilyLife Today
"Its impossible to overstate the importance of these findings. Our beliefs directly influence our actions, and our beliefs about marriage have been wrong. Shaunti and Tally provide genuine hope that is based on truth. This book changes everything."
Christopher McCluskey, best-selling author, president of Professional Christian Coaching Institute
"Shaunti Feldhahn presents profound truth in the most relatable way. We have consistently used her books to help lay foundations for strong marriages in our church and to gain tremendous perspective about our own relationship. Now, in The Good News About Marriage, Shaunti gives us the gifts of a positive perspective and a practical strategy to make the most of our marriages."
Steven and Holly Furtick, lead pastor of Elevation Church, author of the New York Times bestseller Greater
gcwfarmgirlOhioAge: 18-24Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5A must read for allAugust 9, 2014gcwfarmgirlOhioAge: 18-24Gender: femaleQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5I was excited when I saw who this book was by, Shaunti Feldhahn- the author of the amazing book (the book I unceasingly recommend to all my friends), For Women Only (Have you read it? You should!).
The moment I received this book I dove right in and read it in one sitting .
The Good News About Marriage attacks all the common (misguided or inaccurate) statistics quoted for marriage and divorce in our country.
We've all heard the "50% of all marriages end in divorce," quote; all of the marriage and divorce myths talked about in this book, are ones I've heard. As someone who dreams of getting married one day, it get very depressing thinking about getting married one day, (what's the point?). If you believe you marriage only has a 50% chance of lasting, the moment you hit a bump in the road you'll start doubting (well, if 50% end maybe we're in that group), and slowly you'll stop trying and give up...
Truth is, marriages survive by hope.
If a husband and wife believe that their relationship (that their marriage), chances are their marriage will survive.
Unfortunately, most statistics destroy all hope.
Once again, Shaunti did the research; and shows all the statistics and surveys in this book. At times all the charts and numbers were a bit daunting, but she does an excellent job of keeping everything understandable (she does a great job explaining all the information.)
This book provided great evidence and hope about marriage.
I really enjoyed the "But what about" Q&A in the back of the book-it was kind of like a condensed version of the entire book.
My one complaint; at times this book feels like a broken marriage, repeating over and over how that 50% quote is a lie. Her talking about (over and over) the different people she tells and how they are shocked. I really thoroughly enjoyed this book and recommend it to everyone.
I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.
South AfricaAge: 35-44Gender: male3 Stars Out Of 5Important Book.June 25, 2014South AfricaAge: 35-44Gender: maleQuality: 4Value: 3Meets Expectations: 4This is a very important book, for a number of reasons. Firstly, if marriage is not the doomed institution we often believe it to be, maybe couples who were considering marriage will be more likely to actually get married, and not just live together. Secondly, it offers hope. Hope to couples already in a marriage that (1) their chances of success are better than they think and (2) if they feel like things are going badly, a lot of couple feel this way for a while, but manage to make it work. One of the statistics that the book quotes is that couple who feel like their marriage is doomed, and yet persist, often change their mind within 3 years. This means that if you feel like there is no reason to carry on, there is a light at the end of the tunnel that it might not last forever.
The book relies very heavily on statistics, and quoting reports and explaining why research and figures might not mean what we think. If you are not keen on that sort of technical information, this one might be too heavy for you. There are a lot of tables and lists, and each point is repeated a number of times.
I will probably not be returning to this book to read it again, because it is not that sort of book. However I will probably be pulling it out to quote and look up facts and figures in future when I have discussions with people about the implications.
Scotty5 Stars Out Of 5A very, very important book ...June 20, 2014ScottyQuality: 5Value: 5Meets Expectations: 5"The Good News About Marriage" is one of the most important books to be printed in many years.
Why do I make such a strong statement like that?
Because this small hardback book, written by Shaunti Feldhahn (with Tally Whitehead) and published by Multnomah Books, blows away major destructive myths about marriage and divorce that have been embedded in our culture --- and our minds and hearts, as well as the church --- for a few decades.
Now the truth is out!
This truth is the result of years of research by Feldhahn, and this book is a concise, clear, easy-to-read rolling out of the results of all that research. What does that research contain? Proof that a lot of the negative things we've heard about marriage and divorce simply aren't true!
You know those statistics about divorce you hear in the news, and church leaders routinely quote from pulpits? They AREN'T true!
You know that claim about how hard marriage is and how many unhappy marriages there are out there? It's NOT true!
This book will provide you with the evidence you need to believe there is GOOD NEWS about marriage, and divorce isn't as rampant as we've been told for many years.
I don't want to go into any additional detail about the book because it will give too much away. That's because Feldhahn focuses only on a handful of myths about marriage and divorce that she busts wide open with documented research. You really need to read this for yourself.
The general public needs to hear the truth revealed in this book. And in the strongest way possible, I urge every church leader, counselor, therapist, and those working with people regarding marriage and divorce to please buy this book, absorb its contents, and then broadly share the good news about marriage because there really is GOOD NEWS out there!
I received this book free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group as part of their book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
KaylaAge: 18-24Gender: female5 Stars Out Of 5There really is good news!June 6, 2014KaylaAge: 18-24Gender: femaleQuality: 5Value: 4Meets Expectations: 5It wasn't too long ago that I read and reviewed Shaunti Feldhahn's book The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages. That book is an excellent resource and encouragement for those who are struggling or those who have a great marriage and want to keep it that way. However, she referenced her next book, The Good News About Marriage, and I was intrigued. Of course I wanted to read that one, too!
This book attacks some of the common â€” though misguided, misrepresented, or just plain inaccurate â€” statistics quoted for marriage and divorce in our country. As it turns out, the "50% divorce rate" is much more of a projection than a fact. The current divorce rate is somewhere between 20-30%, depending on what source you use and what data the survey aimed to collect.
Ever heard that the divorce rate in the church is the same as the culture? How on earth is that supposed to encourage Christian couples to keep on keepin' on in fellowship with other believers â€” if they've got a high chance of ending up breaking covenant? Well, Shaunti reports that this is a misunderstanding from the Barna survey. It's a difference in whether the survey was reporting Christian beliefs or Christian practice. After all, you can claim to be a Christian without going to church. It's not so unusual in modern day America. (But the divorce rate within the active churchgoing population is actually lower than the culture.)
"It turns out most married people today enjoy being married to their spouse and, given the chance, would do it all over again." (p. 43)
72% of those who have ever been married are still married to their first spouse! (p. 21) That's kind of a BIG DEAL. And rather encouraging, if you ask me.
"The truth is that although we can never look to marriage to make us happy, we need to be trumpeting the fact that when a couple chooses wisely and then takes the scary but wonderful step of commitment for life, they are much more likely to have that abundant relationship they are hoping for." (p. 60)
The book is full of statistics and surveys, which is both beneficial and daunting. Shaunti doesn't cite things without explaining them, but that can be overwhelming if you're not a numbers person. She does an excellent job of keeping everything readable though. :) I finished this book much more quickly than The Surprising Secrets, and I would recommend it just as much (or more â€” if that were possible). Everyone needs a breath of fresh air and a clearer understanding of what the stats are really telling us about marriage. I give this book 5 stars!
I received this book for free via WaterBrook Multnomah for this review. The perspectives (with the exception of direct quotes) above are entirely mine.
An Old Fashioned GirlMinnesotaAge: 25-34Gender: female4 Stars Out Of 5Offers hope in marriage, not adviceMay 28, 2014An Old Fashioned GirlMinnesotaAge: 25-34Gender: femaleQuality: 4Value: 4Meets Expectations: 4Feldhahn's books are not based on theology or what people SHOULD do and think, but are instead a compilation of the findings of extensive surveys and research on what people ACTUALLY do and think.
Shaunti Feldhahn (with the help of Tally Whitehead) has devoted a book to the surprising news that marriage is not doomed, dividing her findings into five main points. Based on numerous studies and surveys, Feldhahn debunks the "well-known fact" that 50% of marriages end in divorce (in reality, the highest it has ever been was around the year 1980, and divorce rates have been slowly decreasing since to about 31%); that most marriages are so-so or unhappy (her findings show that most marriages are happy to very happy); that divorce is just as common inside the church as outside (the myth is a result of misinterpreted data; divorce rates are significantly lower in the church); that remarriages are doomed (the majority of remarriages thrive), and that marriage problems result from major issues (when most unhappy marriages stem from day-to-day misunderstandings and unintended hurt, and simple changes can make a big difference).
If you cannot handle numbers or statistics, then this book is not for you. The author cites studies by reputable (and often misquoted) sources, as well as her own in her extensive research on marriage in the United States. However, if numbers do not scare you, this is a good book to read and share - she does a good job clarifying what the studies specifically looked at and therefore what the numbers mean, especially in cases where her findings differ so greatly from the norm.
The statistics published in this book make sense to me, based on marriages of people I know - among my parents' siblings and my first cousins who are married, roughly 1 in 8 are divorced - that's 12.5% - nothing remotely near the popular 50% (or even the author's figure of 31%). And that ratio holds pretty true for my friends and their parents.
This book by no means states that the state of marriage is perfect or even near where it should be, but it clarifies common misconceptions that have created an extremely discouraging view of marriage - the truth is, things are not nearly as bad as people think, and there is a lot of optimism for marriage. While it does not have much applicable insight (such as how to make a marriage happier or prevent divorce), it conveys hope in an area that has long been struggling, and that hope in and of itself may be enough to tip a marriage toward success rather than failure. So while I would not recommend that everyone go out and buy their own copy, I do recommend reading it and sharing it - this is a great book to pass around to get the word out there of the good news about marriage.
I received a free copy of this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review; I was not required to make it positive, and all opinions are my own.
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